ACCOUNT OF MY DAYS

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Sequence: 2

12/20/89
Armor and...

PERSONAL APPEARANCE BY THE AUTHOR
I didn't shave or comb my hair this morning. The long coat...

untitled
aching a little...

DAYS BEFORE
the killer's mother is coming...

NIGHT CREATURES
under the devious arch of the night...

AUTOBIOGRAPHY
first I died...

untitled
When I lift my hands do not pull back,...

untitled
Here you are beside me...

untitled
you were leaping from roof to roof...

CONVERSATIONS
arguing about suicide...

I SAW
things...

untitled
putting the beach out...

WRITING ON A MIRROR
my pen is red it sinks into my hand...

PEARL STREET
I love him singing...

I TRY BUT
you won't leave me alone...

untitled
the better I did...

LAMENT
Is now the time to praise...

I COULD FALL OVER
Always losing patience with...

11 ARGUMENTS
I insist on the rightness of my thoughts....

POEM ENDING WITH MY NAME
I watch TV....

untitled
spring loosens up her veins...

AN AFTERNOON
A girl and a boy were walking through a forest of apple...

THE NEW REPUBLIC
a conspiracy against time...

BELIEVING IN A HIDDEN ENEMY
I went up the stairs in the dark....

THOUGHT
Who's behind...

untitled
I will marry my blear eye to a blind eye...

I SUBMIT TO THE DOCTORS
with starved breath...

SUGGESTION
Let the poets die...

WALK WITH FLOWERS
chamomile with their secret of sleep...

FIVE SEASONS
King Curtis blows his...

SKETCH
In the dark the boy...

ON THE OTHER HAND
now that I'm dying...

ON ONE HAND
the mark a cat's claw...

ANOTHER OCTOBER: McCORMICK'S CREEK
upstream stone blocks back the water up...

COMING CLEAN (WITHOUT LOVE)
Cows bellering on their feet....

WAITING FOR THE EARTHQUAKE
the dead who can...

ME AND MY BIRD
The water is round...

SENTENCE
A restaurant where you are left alone...

MYTH
Everyone is shouting...

RETURNING THANKS AFTER EATING
I know I'm out...

SEQUENCE OF DESIRE
wanting to stop smoking...

HOME JOURNAL
I forget...

HERE BEGINS THE POEM OF MY LEFT HAND
My left hand is a child...

HE SAID
everything mastered him...

BRIGHT METAL FRAIL REED
my breath loves to narrow itself...

DEVOTION
the moan bird is soaring...

NOCTURNE
I am waiting...

SCHOOL
I love him in his smelly pants...

1/14/91
Starting the blood...

REPORT
when I say...

TWO SENTENCES
And as for the rest of it: no, I don't believe we should ever...

CHARACTERISTICS OF A DOOR
with a thumbtack for an eye...

DESTINATION
after it is long since dark...

NEW BREATH IN ME
you are clouds...

THE UNLOVED BELOVED
"The Unloved Beloved" is written by the crazy son of the man...

AGAINST REPRISALS
a well cut jacket of despair...



HERE BEGINS THE POEM OF MY LEFT HAND


My left hand is a child
moving clumsily and eagerly,
shy in company.  He lets his older brother
do the clasping and pointing,
all the most dramatic gestures.
Everything is a joke to him
because he knows he is despised
for being left, but all admit
that what is left is the best part.

My left hand is always excited
yet he claims to know nothing,
is rather silent when I question him.

He is growing so much more slowly
than the rest of me--that is why
he is not yet skilled, bold, and learned.
For every ten years of mine he matures one,
and I think when I die and am buried
my left hand will be alive still,
just coming into the strength of youth.
I love to think of him in the ground,
bold amongst the stones and clay,
his time of adventure come at last,

his music a man's music,
studying the worm's mouth without desolation
now that he has entered a time with no sun:
too deep to freeze, too cool to sweat.
He is never alone, he is in the great
multitude of life that has been waiting for him.
He has grown wiser than me through coming to know
the beat of the world in the center of his body.

From his house of clay he can watch
the stars and the stretch of space
beyond the farthest star.  He has graceful
years before he grows old, and even that
will be a blessing like a silk glove,
for as he softens the stones draw close
and cradle him and call him
their little old boy, so weak and in need
of voices to teach him how to die and become
a new mineral, moistened with forever.


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